


Pride

by RedHeadedWoman



Series: Home Verse [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Steve Rogers Friendship, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Phil Coulson & Steve Rogers Friendship, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Pre-Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers Feels, TheBetaService
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:25:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2293511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHeadedWoman/pseuds/RedHeadedWoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>'I figure because what kind of self-respecting gay man doesn’t go to pride?’</i>
</p><p>Pride Parade in New York City. Glitter, ass-less leather chaps and rainbows. Too much for a super soldier from the 1940s, maybe?</p><p>Clint and Phil are off to watch the parade. Steve, wanting to learn more about how thing's have changed, goes with them. There he meets kids who are way more comfortable with themselves than he is and he learns a little something along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pride

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful Xander at [The Beta Service](http://thebetaservice.tumblr.com/)

Steve wandered into the kitchen of Stark Tower after returning from his run to find Clint and Phil eating breakfast and talking. Steve ignored them in favour of getting a bottle of water from the fridge and downing it in one go. Once he’d finished, Steve started making breakfast for himself and whoever would turn up in the kitchen next.

‘But, Phil, we have too!’ Clint exclaimed. Steve glanced back to see Phil rubbing a hand over his face. He smiled and turned back to his eggs.

‘No, Clint. We _don’t_ have to go at all.’ Phil implored.

‘Yeah, we do. It’s pride!’ Clint said. Steve heard him press a smacking kiss to Phil’s cheek.

‘Clint,’ Phil sighed and stood up to get more coffee. ‘I am aware that its pride but that doesn’t mean we need to go.’

‘We are contractually obliged to go,’ Clint insisted.

Steve had no idea what they were talking about but he didn’t want to ask them either. It sounded a little too much like it was the beginning of a fight. Instead he focused on not letting the eggs burn as he started on a pancake mix.

‘How d’you figure?’ Phil asked, leaning against the counter as he waited for the coffee machine to finish.

Clint stood up and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Phil’s mouth. Steve tried not to look at them as jealousy welled up in his stomach. He wasn’t jealous towards either of them; he was jealous of their relationship. That was something he wanted. Someone to love, to be loved by. Someone he could trust implicitly.

‘I figure because what kind of self-respecting gay man doesn’t go to pride?’

Steve, his curiosity finally getting the better of him, turned to face them. Clint was pouting at an un-impressed Phil.

‘Pride?’ He asked.

‘New York City Pride Parade.’ Phil informed him, turning to fill his coffee mug when the machine beeped at him. ‘It’s an annual event for the gay community.’

‘A parade for gay pride,’ Clint clarified.

‘Really?’ Steve was surprised by this. Though he’d gotten used to the changed attitudes, as well as his own sexuality, the idea of a gay pride parade was surprising.

‘Yep,’ Clint said, swinging himself up onto the counter top. Phil sighed but didn’t bother trying to tell Clint off. ‘It’s fun and Phil doesn’t wanna go.’

‘I’d like to,’ Steve announced.

‘You wanna go to the parade?’ Clint asked, shocked.

Phil swatted at his leg and smiled at Steve. ‘Then you can take Clint and make sure he doesn’t come home covered in glitter.’

‘Glitter?’

‘Glitter is super important.’ Clint grinned at him. ‘Why d’you wanna come?’

‘Clint,’ Phil admonished.

‘I want to see how much things have changed,’ Steve responded truthfully. ‘I mean, I know a little but I’ve not seen - ’

‘It on display?’ Clint interrupted.

‘Not what I was going to say but, basically, yes.’ Steve shrugged and turned back to breakfast. ‘I’d like to go. So long as Phil does.’ Steve added hiding a smile.

‘That is not fair,’ Phil told him, though he, too, was smiling.

‘Probably not but I’ll need someone sane to answer my questions,’ Steve responded. Phil and Clint both laughed at that.

‘Well, of course, you can come with us,’ Phil assured. ‘Though we should probably warn you.’

‘Warn me?’ Steve asked, glancing at them.

‘’Bout the people you’re gonna see.’ Clint jumped off the counter top and snagged some bacon straight out of the pan. ‘Lots of people dress up for the parade. Some are pretty revealing.’

‘Revealing how?’

‘Ass-less leather chaps. I wanted to wear some a few years ago but Phil wouldn’t let me.’ Clint said, grinning lewdly at Phil.

‘Because someone would’ve groped you and we would have needed to call Natasha to bail me out.’

‘Point,’ Clint said as he sat on the table. ‘Anyway. Revealing clothes.’

‘Material,’ Phil corrected. ‘Revealing pieces of material. All kinds of people go to the watch the parade, Steve. Not all are gay, of course. Drag queens, transvestites, and straight people for support and some fun. Or a fight.’

‘A fight?’ Steve asked.

‘Homophobic douchebags,’ Clint explained.

‘Well, homophobes or not, I think I can handle people wearing revealing clothes.’

‘Whatever you say, Cap. Can I have more bacon?’

…

As it turned out, Steve may have been a little wrong about being able to handle it. There were a lot of people, a lot of colour, and a whole lot of flesh. Steve had let Natasha style him for the night so he wouldn’t be recognised. She’d outfitted him in a pair of black jeans and a tight, bright blue t-shirt that was at least a size too small. Natasha had messed up his hair, calling it “artfully tousled”. Steve called it “messy”.

Steve had been confident that he’d be fine at the parade but, now that he was here, he could see that Phil and Clint had been right to warn him. There were indeed ass-less leather chaps. As well as leather thongs and bras that showed a little too much flesh, even on some of the men.

Phil and Clint were both wearing jeans as well, though Clint’s were much tighter, and t-shirts. Clint’s was tie-dyed which Natasha had punched him for wearing but he had insisted.

All the same, Steve was glad he’d come. It was heartening to see so many people who were confident and willing to show off who they were, regardless of reprisal. Even Phil and Clint were holding hands, which Steve didn’t think he’d ever seen them do before. It was nice to see his friends happy and comfortable.

They’d finally managed to get near the front of the crowd and Steve had already been hit on by several men and women. As well as a woman who Steve was pretty sure was biologically a man.

‘How you doing, Steve?’ Clint asked smiling.

‘I’m glad you warned me,' Steve replied watching a group of young men walking past wearing nothing more than leather thongs, knee high boots. As well as hats that looked a lot like Nazi hats.

Clint laughed at him turning to watch the parade.

‘Don’t worry about them, Steve,’ Phil said, motioning to the men. ‘They’re called Leathermen. They work in gay clubs.’

‘I don’t think that’s something I want to know about,’ Steve admitted.

‘Then don’t ask Clint,’ Phil advised, looking over at his boyfriend who was talking to two teenagers. Both of whom were wearing rainbows and were covered in glitter.

‘How did this all start?’ Steve asked, waving his hand to indicate the transvestites walking in front of them. Actually, they might have been drag queens. Steve couldn’t tell, which he figured was maybe the point.

‘It all started after a riot in ’69.’

‘A riot?’ Steve asked.

‘There was a police raid on a gay bar, the Stonewall Inn. So lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgendered people rioted. There were a couple more riots the following nights and it started the modern gay rights movement. The riots turned into marches and now it’s a pride parade.’

‘All after a raid on a gay bar?’ Steve couldn’t help laughing. At Phil’s frown he added, ‘Police raided gay bars all the time in the forties. The names and pictures of people found there were published in newspapers. There weren’t any riots and there definitely wasn’t a pride parade.’

‘Times have changed,’ Phil answered laughing.

‘What’s with the rainbows?’ Steve asked as more people marched past them with their flags flying.

‘Diversity of the LGBT community,’ Phil answered dryly. ‘Every sexuality, apart from heterosexuality, have a flag of their own. I’ve never liked the flag.’

‘Why not?’

‘Clint likes wearing it way too much,’ Phil sighed, though he was smiling. ‘I had to convince him to wear something other than just rainbows and glitter. The shirt was our compromise. He’s had that damn thing since he was in the circus.’

Steve initially thought Phil was joking about Clint wanting to only wear rainbows. Until he saw one of the kids Clint was talking to pull out a pot of glitter and help Clint smear two lines underneath his eyes like warrior paint. Beside him, Phil sighed again.

Clint took the pot off the kid and turned to them, immediately attacking Phil with the glitter, painting a strip on each cheek. He then turned to Steve.

‘Steve? What d’you say?’ Clint held up the little pot towards him. Steve considered saying no until he saw the slightly hopeful look on the faces of the teenagers.

‘Go for it,.’ Steve said.

Clint grinned and painted Steve’s face with some glitter.

‘You are never going to get that off,’ Phil informed him.

‘I’ll find a way.’ Steve assured him.

Clint passed the little pot back to his new friends, took a rainbow badge off his shirt and started pinning it to Phil’s. Steve, recognising when he wasn’t wanted, turned to the teenagers, giving them a bright smile. The smaller one, with two small scars on his face, wearing pink shorts and a rainbow shirt with glitter everywhere, smiled at him. His boyfriend, with olive skin and multiple piercings in his ears, smiled at him as well.

‘I’m Steve.’ He introduced, holding his hand out.

‘I’m Andy,’ Andy, the small one with blond hair and green eyes shook his hand and indicated the other guy. ‘And this is Chris, my boyfriend. He’s a wrestler.’ Andy explained.

‘Andy,’ Chris admonished quietly and shook Steve’s hand. ‘Nice to meet you. Ignore him. Please,’ Chris begged. Steve guessed he was joking and laughed.

‘Shush, you,’ Andy said and lightly swatted at Chris’ arm. ‘People doubt he’s gay 'cause of the muscles.’

Steve had the sudden, uncomfortable feeling that Andy was appreciating his own muscles a little too much.

‘A wrestler? At school?’ Steve asked Chris, hoping that Andy would take the bait and start gushing about his boyfriend.

‘High school, yeah. It’s nothing really.’ Chris replied, rubbing at the back of his neck.

‘It’s not nothing. He’s got a black belt in judo too.’

‘Andy’s won dressage competitions. You know. Horses,’ Chris said, clearly put off by the attention he was getting.

‘I do know horses,’ Steve assured him. ‘How’d you guys meet?’

‘Here, two years ago,’ Andy said before getting distracted and waving at someone who was marching.

‘We both like coming to the parade,’ Chris added. ‘We’ve both had problems at high school, Andy had to leave Texas, and coming here is like -- Well, it’s kinda like coming home.’

Steve nodded and looked over at Clint and Phil. Clint was leaning his back against Phil’s chest, their hands clasped together on Clint’s chest.

The people around them were laughing, cheering and smiling. There were flags waving everywhere. The rainbow flag, one of black, white and purple, and another that was pink, purple, and blue. Steve was a little shocked to see a pink triangle on some flags and pinned to people’s shirt. A symbol that he associated with Nazism and concentration camps. Hopefully, the gay rights movement had reclaimed the image.

Steve had never seen anything like this before but he was glad that he was able to now. People who were happy with themselves. Happy and confident enough that they were willing to show off who they were on their sleeves. Literally.

‘Clint!’

They looked around and saw a woman with bright pink hair, wearing galaxy print tights and a bright pink tank top with a print of a unicorn.

‘Candy!’ Clint pulled away from Phil and pulled the girl into a tight hug. ‘How’ve you been?’

‘I’m good,’ Candy replied beaming. ‘Where the hell have you been, asshole?’ Candy asked and punched Clint’s arm.

‘Ow! Not nice, Candy,’ Clint joked. ‘And I’ve been busy doin’ stuff. Where’s Sasha?’

‘Oh, she stopped to talk to someone she knew at art school.’ Candy waved a hand behind her.

‘Not anymore,’ a new girl, Sasha probably, said as she joined them. Candy threw her arms around the brunet’s neck and pulled her into a kiss.

‘Ew, Chris, girls kissing,’ Andy whined and hid behind Chris who sighed and rolled his eyes.

The girls pulled apart and Candy stuck her tongue out at them. ‘What’s wrong with girls kissing?’

‘Nothing,’ Andy said and stepped out from behind Chris only to move slightly behind Steve. ‘Please don’t hurt me. My boyfriend has a black belt in judo.’

‘So does my girlfriend. Plus karate.’ Candy boasted. Sasha rolled her eyes. Compared to Candy she was dressed much more conservatively in leather pants, high heeled boots, and bright red tank top.

‘Anyway!’ Clint clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. ‘Teenagers, this is Phil, my boyfriend -’ Clint grabbed Phil’s hand and pulled him in closer. ‘Ladies, this is Steve, we work together -’ Clint clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder and both Candy and Sasha seemed to understand what Clint meant. ‘- And the teenagers are Andy and Chris,’ Clint said, finally waving to the boys.

Candy apparently liked hugs. After Clint’s introductions, Candy pulled each of them into hug, including Andy who jokingly tried to pull away. She then informed them all that they were going to the best of friends, even if they were all boys.

‘I’m not friends with Barton,’ Sasha pointed out. Clint, sensing a challenge, smacked a kiss to Sasha’s cheek and quickly ducked away.

‘Don’t hurt me,’ Clint pleaded. Phil sighed and gave Sasha a smile.

‘If I was going to hurt you, Barton, why would I do it in front of all these witnesses?’ Sasha motioned towards all them, her eyes lingering on Steve and Chris.

‘Yeah, well, Phil would protect me. Right, Phil?’

‘Probably,’ Phil responded, dryly.

Clint pouted and pressed a kiss to Phil’s cheek. ‘Well, if you wouldn’t, Steve would. Wouldn’t you, Steve. You’d protect me from the crazy lesbian.’

‘Depends on her reason for trying to hurt you,’ Steve answered. Clint’s face dropped in surprise until he started laughing.

‘I like you,’ Candy stated.

‘Good to know,’ Steve told her smiling.

He liked these people. Their confidence was strengthening his resolve to come out to his team as bisexual.

‘Where’s Steve’s rainbows?’ Candy asked, suddenly.

‘Steve didn’t want any,’ Clint told her.

‘What? Not possible.’ Candy started rooting through her bag and Steve had a horrible vision of being forced into a shirt like hers or Clint’s.

‘I have glitter.’ Steve indicated his cheeks.

Candy squinted at the glitter and frowned. ‘Not good enough.’ Candy pulled several items from her bag and shoved them into Chris’s hands who watched her with wide, confused eyes. She then began sorting through the items as Sasha stepped closer to Steve.

‘I’m sorry about her. She gets a little excited sometimes.’

‘I don’t mind,’ Steve said. ‘Candy said you went to art school?’

‘Yeah, Brooklyn Art School. Not the best but - ’

‘That’s where I went,’ Steve interrupted. ‘A long time ago, so it’s probably changed. I grew up in Brooklyn too,' Steve said, letting his accent slip through.

Sasha surveyed him for a moment before gave him a crooked smirk. ‘Maybe you’re not so bad.’

‘Just the thing!’ Candy announced and bounced over. She pinned a large badge to Steve’s shirt, right over his heart.

 _“GAY IS BEST!”_ The badge announced loudly in hot pink.

‘Really?’ Clint asked after reading the badge. ‘Gay is best?’

‘Yep!’ Candy said and shoved all her paraphernalia back into her bag and dragged Sasha to watch the parade along with Chris and Andy.

‘Steve is straight, Candy,’ Clint said to her back. ‘Here I’ll swap you.’ Clint sighed reaching to unpin his own badge that was just a rainbow.

‘No, it’s fine,’ Steve said, quickly brushing his thumb over the badge. ‘I’m not straight.’ He told them without thinking.

‘What?’ Clint asked shocked.

‘I’m not straight,’ Steve repeated, carefully, finally looking up at them. ‘I’m bisexual.’

‘Steve,’ Clint began.

‘Which is why you wanted to come along,’ Phil interrupted.

‘Partly,’ Steve admitted with a shy smile.

‘Why the fuck are we only just learning this?’ Clint asked.

‘Because I’m from the 1940s where all this -’ Steve indicated the people around them, ‘- would have gotten everyone either arrested or killed. Forgive me if it took some time for me to adjust to the differences.’

Clint immediately looked contrite while Phil smiled and rested his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

‘Thank you for telling us, Steve. We’re honoured that you’d feel comfortable enough to do so. And we won’t tell the others.’

‘Thank you.’ Steve smiled and pulled the agent into a quick hug. Phil squeezed his arm lightly and moved away, glancing at Clint.

‘Steve, I’m sorry.’ Clint started.

‘Clint, it’s okay,’ Steve assured. ‘I didn’t actually mean to tell you.’

‘Thanks so much.’ Clint replied laughing.

Steve laughed as well and they turned to watch the parade marching before them. It felt good to have told someone in his new life about his sexuality. Even if the venue had maybe not been the best place for it.

Either way they watched the parade pass before them for several hours until it finished late at night. When it finished they decided to head to a local bar to unwind. Steve was determined to make sure Andy and Chris didn’t drink.

…

‘I left after two years,’ Sasha was saying.

Steve and Sasha were sitting together at a table in the bar, as they had been for the last forty minutes. Clint had challenged a group of people to darts and Phil was monitoring the situation. Candy was meant to be getting more drinks but she was too busy talking to some people she’d met to bother. Andy and Chris, who shouldn’t be drinking but were, were talking to some other teenagers.

‘Why’d you leave?’ Steve asked. Sasha had been telling him about the college she’d gone to after finishing up at art school.

‘Couldn’t handle it.’ Sasha shrugged and glanced over at Candy. ‘I was getting bullied by some of the other girls ‘cause I’ve got black belts in judo and karate. Well, that and they kept trying to convince me to sleep with them. So I left.’

‘I was bullied a lot as a kid as well,’ Steve told her. ‘I was a skinny kid. Real sick all the time and I lived in an orphanage.’

‘You were skinny?’ Sasha asked disbelieving looking him over. Steve just smiled at her. ‘Don’t buy it but okay.’

‘Well, it’s the truth. I know what it’s like to be bullied and I know what it’s like to feel as though you have to leave even though you wanna stay.’

‘I didn’t want to stay.’

‘Because of the bullying?’ Steve asked, looking over at a shout. Clint had just gotten four bullseyes and the people playing with him weren’t sure what to make of it.

‘Not really,’ Sasha said. At Steve’s dubious look, she smiled. It was the first time Steve had seen her smile properly and it made her face light up. ‘College just wasn’t for me. I gave it my best shot but it didn’t work, so I stopped trying.’

‘Do you think you’ll go back?’

‘Not sure,’ Sasha admitted, quietly. ‘I don’t really like the environment, you know? It’s so … something. I can’t think of the word but there was just something about college that I didn’t like.’

‘You could do a distance course,’ Steve suggested.

‘I could. But not yet. Not till Candy’s done with her course.’

‘You shouldn’t wait, Sasha. If there’s a course you want to do, then - ’

‘It’s not like that,’ Sasha interrupted, glancing at Candy talking animatedly to her new friends. ‘Candy stresses a lot about her course work and the two of us doing it at the same time would be stupid. Neither of us would be able to focus properly.’

‘Fair enough.’

‘I am so drunk!’ Andy announced as Chris half-dragged him over and dumped in a chair.

‘You’re underage.’ Steve pointed out in his best Captain America voice.

‘I’ll have you know that I am seventeen,’ Andy slurred and slumped against Chris’ side.

‘Then why are you drinking?’

‘Don’t bother, Steve,’ Sasha told him when both teens ignored him. Chris was trying to convince Andy that drinking some water would be a good idea. ‘It’s Pride and they’re over excited. They aren’t going to listen, so you may as well leave them.’

Steve watched the teens for a moment. Both of them were probably equally drunk but Andy was far more obvious. Whether that was Andy’s personality being heightened or his low tolerance, it was hard to tell. He had finally drunk some water and Chris was drinking the rest.

‘Chris, babe?’ Andy asked his boyfriend who smiled at him.

‘Yeah?’

‘I just want you to know that, although I love you very super much, I also find Steve insanely attractive.’ Andy leant against Chris’ side, staring up at him.

‘I’ll keep that in mind,’ Chris replied without hesitating and pressed a quick kiss to Andy’s hair.

‘Good. Promise I won’t cheat.’ Andy smiled sloppily and pressed a kiss to Chris’ shoulder.

‘No, you won’t.’ Steve felt the need to interrupt Andy. ‘Ignoring the fact that you are underage, it’s not a good idea.’

‘Aw, another life maybe,’ Andy slurred.

‘Not likely, Andy.’ Steve assured him.

‘Okay.’ Andy shrugged. Chris laughed at his boyfriend and sat down on the stool beside him. Andy immediately took the opportunity to rest more of his weight against him.

‘Drinks!’ Candy announced as she finally reached their table and passed Steve his beer. ‘None for you two though. You’ve had more than enough and I’m not that irresponsible. Am I, Sasha?’

‘No comment,’ Sasha responded, dryly.

Candy had brought more water with her so Steve forced some on the teens.

‘I know we shouldn’t been drinking, Steve,’ Chris said quietly, embarrassment written all over his face.

‘Definitely not,’ Steve responded. ‘But you are celebrating so I suppose I could ignore it. This once.’

Chris smiled gratefully at him. ‘Andy’s a lightweight,’ he said out of nowhere. ‘He’s only had two cocktails.’

‘He’s a lightweight and I have trouble getting drunk. Hell of a group.’ Steve told him. Chris only laughed in agreement. ‘You guys met at pride you said?’

‘Two years ago. I went with my mum and Andy was there by himself. It was nearing the end of the parade and we were leaving early for the trains. I saw Andy. He was being followed by some guys who were definitely not there to celebrate. One of them hit him.’

Chris stopped then and checked Andy who was beginning to fall asleep.

‘I may have possibly beat the guy up.’ Chris looked up to gauge his reaction. Steve was careful to keep his face neutral so as not to make Chris feel guilt. ‘Anyway, we took him home and I cleaned him up. We had our first date two weeks later.’

‘Just like a fairy tale,’ Steve joked.

Chris laughed, jostling Andy who grumbled and sat up properly to look around at them all.

‘Why laughing?’ Andy asked stupidly, reminding Steve of Tony when he'd stumble into the kitchen searching for coffee.

‘Cause funny,’ Chris told him,holding back a laugh.

‘But moving,’ Andy complained.

Steve zoned out of their conversation and looked over to where Clint and Phil were. Clint was now teaching some drag queens how to get a bullseye with a dart. Phil was standing just off to the side, watching Clint.

A strange, entirely unwelcome part of Steve felt left out. There was no reason for him to feel that way but he couldn’t help it. He was surrounded by couples and people who were far more confident in themselves than he was. It was hard not to feel some kind of longing towards the people around him spending this day of celebration with the person they loved.

Steve found his mind wandering to Tony and what he might be doing. He imagined Tony was probably still wake, in the lab surrounded by bots and the blue holograms of his work. It’s an image that he’s sketched countless times since moving into the tower. There was something special about seeing Tony in what was, for all intents and purposes, his natural habitat.

Steve had drawn all of the Avengers several times over but he had a whole sketchbook dedicated to Tony. Sketches of him in the lab, asleep in the lounge while watching movies, half-asleep at the kitchen table drawn in pencils, charcoals, and colours. There were also some images of Tony that Steve had dreamed up.

One in particular was his favourite. Steve had drawn it late one night when he’d woken up hard and wanting. After an ice cold shower to rid his mind of the dreams he’d sat down and started sketching.

In the sketch, Tony lay naked in bed, the thin sheet bunched around his hips and covering one leg. The outline of his penis was just visible through deep shading and his arc reactor the only splash of colour. Steve hadn’t really thought about what he was drawing as he did it and he’d been genuinely surprised at the final product.

That had been the first time Steve had drawn anything like that and that was when he’d realised his attraction to Tony just months after moving into the tower. Since then, he hadn’t been able to stop drawing the man in situations both real and imagined.

He was broken from his reverie as Phil and Clint re-joined them and Andy almost fell out of his chair when he went to stand.

‘Well, I think it’s time for us to go home,’ Chris decided as he looped an arm under Andy’s shoulders.

‘We’ll get you home,’ Steve decided, looking at Clint and Phil who both nodded.

As they said their goodbyes to Candy and Sasha, Steve gave Sasha his number and told her to call if she needed anything. Sasha gave him an odd look but promised to do so.

The five of them managed to find a cab large enough for them all and Chris gave his address to the driver. The driver tried to protest saying that they wouldn't be able to pay the fare. Steve plucked his black Amex card out and showed it to the driver who took off without another word.

…

Marion Fairweather was a strong lady in her forties with a kind face, olive skin and black hair. When she’d answered the door to find her son and his boyfriend accompanied by three older males, she’d sighed and invited them in. Chris and Andy had drunkenly thanked them and stumbled upstairs to bed.

‘They are gonna regret this in the morning,’ Clint said, leaning into Phil’s side. Clint had gotten drunk as well but nowhere near as bad as the teens.

‘Probably. My younger son will have fun with them though.’

‘You have another son?’ Steve asked, politely.

‘Jack, he’s 15 and looks up to Chris. But he still enjoys making fun of him,’ Marion told them smiling.

‘Can’t blame him,’ Clint slurred and leant more of his weight against Phil.

‘It was nice to meet you, Ms Fairweather,’ Phil said, politely, and steered Clint out of her home and back to the cab.

‘Your son is very protective of Andy,’ Steve told her.

‘Chris is protective of everyone he loves. Especially Andy and Jack,’ Marion smiled, wearily. ‘But I still worry about him. My husband left us when Jack was six months and we haven’t heard from him since. And Andy’s family aren’t exactly supportive of him. So I worry about them.’

‘I think you’re a wonderful role model, Marion,’ Steve told her. He knew what it was like to be raised by a single mother and he didn’t think himself any worse for it.

‘You barely know me,’ Marion pointed out, kindly. ‘But thank you. And thank you for bringing them home.’

‘Of course. Have a nice night, ma’am, and good luck with them tomorrow.’

Marion laughed and said goodnight. When Steve joined Phil and Clint in the cab, Clint laughed at him.

‘You such a good guy, Stevie,’ Clint slurred at him reaching over Phil to pat the side of his face.

‘Thank you, Clint,’ Steve said to the man and gave Phil his best sympathetic smile.

…

 

‘Yes, Clint, I promise I will be there soon,’ Phil assured Clint.

Phil had been trying to convince him to go to bed since they’d gotten back to the tower, twenty minutes ago.

‘You absolutely promise?’ Clint asked as he braced his hands on Phil’s shoulder and leaned forward. Phil, in turn, leaned back slightly.

‘Clint. You know Steve is still here right?’

Clint looked around and spotted Steve leaning against the door jamb of the TV room. ‘Heeeey, Stevie! Cap, Cap’n Steve.’ Clint lumbered over to Steve and grabbed his biceps. ‘You are very muscly.’

‘Yes, I am. Phil’s over there.’ Steve gently forced Clint to turn around and, when he saw Phil, he grinned and managed to reach him.

‘Bed, Clint,’ Phil said in a no-nonsense voice. Clint, even drunk, seemed to recognise the voice and began wandering away to the elevator. ‘JARVIS, can you make sure he gets off on the right floor, please?’

‘Of course.’ JARVIS assured quickly.

‘Thank you,’ Phil said and turned to Steve with a small smile on his face. ‘Clint tends to get a little clingy when drunk.’

‘Will he be okay?’

‘He’ll be fine,’ Phil assured. ‘So, bisexual?’ Phil asked, without any segue, startling Steve slightly.

‘Yeah.’ Steve said and sat down on the lounge. Phil joined him a moment later and looked at him expectantly.

‘I wasn’t really sure about it before I joined up,’ Steve began. ‘I knew that I was interested in men and that was enough. I accepted that I was queer, gay. I mean gay,' Steve amended remembering that "queer" was now seen as more of an insult. 'Back then, there was no distinction. You either liked only women or you were a freak. Until I met Peggy I’d only ever been interested in men.’ Steve shrugged like it explained everything.

‘Men like Bucky?’ Phil asked gently. Steve, unsurprised that Phil had guessed, nodded, trying not to think about where Bucky might be now. ‘You know, you don’t need to put a label on who you are.’

‘I know, but having a label, a word, helps. It’s like having this label reminds me that I’m not a freak, that I’m not alone. It makes it easier knowing that there are others like me. Easier to explain too. I came out to Bucky as gay when we were kids and he was fine with it. Made me promise to be careful. But when I tried to explain that I liked women too, well, he was less understanding. Though I understood why.’

‘At least you had someone to tell at all.’

‘True,’ Steve said. ‘Listen, Phil, to be honest I didn’t mean to tell you or Clint. Not tonight. So, I’d appreciate it if you kept this to yourselves.’

‘It’s not for us to tell, Steve,’ Phil assured. ‘I understand why you aren’t ready to tell the others yet but they won’t care, you know that. But thank you for telling us.’

‘Of course. And thank you.’

Later, after they’d said goodnight and gone their separate ways, Steve changed into his pyjamas and sat down at his desk. He grabbed the sketchbook filled with images of Tony and flicked to the latest one.

This un-finished image was of a shirtless Tony in the lab surrounded by his bots and the lights of his holograms. So far, he’d only finished drawing the bots and the background and had the outline of Tony’s body done. Steve wasn’t sure why he was drawing Tony half-naked in the lab but he couldn’t help it. He’d seen Tony’s torso a couple of times when he’d been wandering around shirtless and knew what Tony’s body looked like. At least a little.

As he began filling in the sketch, Steve found his mind turning to Andy and Chris and what Marion had said to him. Steve could remember asking his mother where his father was many times over the years and asking if he’d abandoned them. So he knew what it was like to grow up without that father figure, without a man to look up too. Because no matter how wonderful Marion is, a boy needs a man he could look up too.

Especially kids like Chris and Andy. With everything they’d been through, Steve wouldn’t blame them if they found it difficult to trust people. Steve had the sudden idea that maybe he could do that for them. Or offer to at the very least. He’d go back tomorrow and speak to them about it.

By now, Steve had drawn the naked half of Tony’s body and he found himself unable to concentrate on anything else. Steve forced himself to put away his pencil and the sketchbook and climbed into bed, hoping to push the images away.

In his mind’s eye, though, Steve could see Tony’s tanned chest and his smug smirk. Steve, now less determined to go to sleep, let his mind wander. He wondered what Tony’s skin would feel like to touch.

He thought Tony’s skin would be soft but peppered with scars from fighting and accidents in the lab. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Tony, to run his lips over Tony’s jaw and collarbone. What Tony’s lips would feel like as he sucked and bit his skin from his lips and neck to his hips and thighs.

Steve gave in as the heat settled low in his stomach and so he kicked his blankets off to reach into his boxers and lightly grasp his dick. He groaned at the contact and thrust up into his fist. Steve kept his eyes closed, imagining that it was Tony’s mouth sucking his cock. Steve brushed his thumb over the head of his dick, smearing pre-come along the shaft.

He tightened his grip and let out a gasp as he thrust up again. His left hand travelled to his chest and lightly tweaked his nipple eliciting a moan. Steve could imagine Tony taking him to the root, the wet heat of his mouth proving too much for Steve to bear, so Tony would back off, giving Steve one of his cocky little smirks. Tony would suck marks across the insides of Steve’s thighs as he slowly stroked Steve.

Steve mimicked the imaginary motion and bit down on his lip. Tony would probably laugh at him for trying to keep quiet and would work extra hard to get those breathy little moans out of him. Steve could almost see the way Tony would lick a stripe up the length of his cock before closing his lips over the head and sucking hard. Steve tightened his grip around himself and dragged his hand slowly back and forth, quickly picking up the pace, as he thought of Tony’s hands holding his hips down, his thumbs pressed against a fresh bruise.

Steve quickened his pace and came with a breathy moan and Tony’s name on his lips.

Steve lay there, come drying on his stomach and hand, for a few minutes before forcing himself to go to the bathroom to clean himself off. He refused to look at himself in the mirror as he washed his hands. He then wet a washcloth and dragged it over his stomach and thighs to remove the evidence. It wasn’t that Steve was ashamed of what he’d done. Rather he was ashamed of who he’d imagined. Sure, he was attracted to Tony but he definitely shouldn’t be imagining his best friend while masturbating.

Once he’d cleaned the come off his skin, Steve crawled back into bed and tried to forget what he’d just done.

…

‘You’re Captain America?’ Chris asked for the fifth time.

Steve was sitting with Chris and Andy in the sunshine of Chris’ back yard. Both teens were hung over but they’d agreed to speak with him when he’d arrived. Steve hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and he was feeling it. He was tired and felt guilty, over-thinking about Tony last night. He’d left the tower early that morning for a run and, when he got back to the tower, he'd found Tony in the kitchen inhaling a mug of coffee.

‘Mornin’, Steve,’ Tony mumbled into his mug.

‘Good morning, Tony,’ Steve had choked out and Tony had looked up at him and frowned.

‘Where’d you go last night?’ Tonyasked and Steve had almost dropped his bowl.

‘What?’

‘Last night? You went out somewhere.’ Tony had asked with a frown.

‘Oh. Um. I just went for a walk. Nothing important.’ Steve had lied.

Tony had clearly not believed him but Bruce had walked into the kitchen then and Tony had been distracted enough for Steve to escape. He’d ended up having breakfast at Starbucks, despite hating the stupid ordering system and the lack of personality the place had, but at least he’d been away from Tony.

‘Are you sure?’ Andy asked, bringing Steve back.

‘I am absolutely positive that I’m Captain America,’ Steve assured them with his most comforting smile.

‘Wait, what about Clint and Phil?’ Chris asked.

‘Clint is Hawkeye and Phil is an agent of SHIELD and the Avengers’ handler,’ Steve told them.

‘Holy shit,’ Andy said and Chris nodded in agreement.

‘Language, Andy,’ Steve said.

‘Why are you telling us?’ Chris asked, suspicious.

Steve watched them for a moment. Andy had dark circles under his eyes and his skin looked clammy. Chris looked a little better but only barely.

‘I’m telling you because I want to,’ Steve admitted.

‘Yeah but why do you want to?’ Chris asked. Steve couldn’t blame him for being suspicious. He hadn’t really thought about how he’d explain that he wanted to help them.

‘Well, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you both need someone you can turn too. When you don’t want, or can’t, turn to each other or your families.’

‘You mean ‘cause I don’t have a father and his family are all assholes,’ Chris said.

‘Yes,’ Steve sighed. ‘But it’s not just about that. Tell me, when you have something that you can’t or won’t speak to your mum or Andy about what do you do?’

‘I look it up online,’ Chris responded quickly.

‘Andy? What about you?’

‘Same thing.’ Andy shrugged. He was obviously tired and not really paying attention.

‘Look, Steve, no offense but what could we talk to you about?’ Chris asked politely. ‘Yeah, you’re Captain America. You grew up in the 1940s and Clint said you’re straight.’

‘I’m bisexual which, as of now, only four people know. And yes, I grew up in the 40s but some things will never change. I grew up skinny and sick in an orphanage and was bullied until I joined the army. Where I started getting three full meals a day, regular doctor visits, and training.' Steve felt a little bad for lying to them but he had no choice. ‘I know that we’ve grown up in different times with different values and morals but, like I said, some things will never change.’

‘You make a good case, Mister America,’ Andy said. ‘But how do we know we can trust you?’

‘Is he joking?’ Steve asked Chris.

‘Yeah, he is. Mainly ‘cause he’s hung over.’

‘Oh, good,’ Steve said. ‘Look, I understand why you’re hesitant. But could you at least give me a shot?’

‘S’pose so.’ Chris said.

‘C’n I meet Iron Man?’ Andy asked.

‘I’ll see what I can do,’ Steve told him not really wanting to talk about Tony.

‘Then I’m in.’ Andy grinned at him, looking far more awake.

‘Wonderful.’ Steve smiled and handed both of them a card with his name, phone numbers, and email address. ‘Whenever you need me - or just want to talk.’

‘No judgements?’ Andy asked.

‘Why would I judge you?’

‘You’re Captain America.’

‘I’m Steve Rogers,’ Steve amended. ‘I’ll only be Captain America if you need saving.’

‘Saving? What could we need saving from?’ Chris asked.

‘You tell me,’ Steve said.

Chris watched him for a moment before smiling brightly and pocketing the card. Andy did the same and then leant against Chris for support. And probably comfort.

‘Steve?’ Marion asked as she came out of the house. 'Will you stay for lunch?’

‘I’d love to, thank you.’ Steve said, giving Marion a bright smile.

Marion smiled and went back inside.

‘You,’ Chris began pointing a finger at him. ‘Are not allowed to date my mother. That would be far too weird.’

‘I don’t want to date your mother, Chris.’ Steve assured.

‘Good. Let’s keep it that way.’ Chris warned.

‘Stop it,’ Andy teased and lightly slapped his arm.

Steve hid a smile as Chris pretended that Andy had actually hurt him, and because Andy was still hung over he panicked just a little. Steve left them to it and went back inside to offer Marion help which she refused.

‘Jack’s not home?’ Steve asked watching as she threw a salad together.

‘No. He’s at the cinema with some friends,’ Marion said, adding her homemade dressing. ‘Now, what do you want with my boys?’ Marion asked, lightly, brandishing wooden spoon.

‘I wanted to offer them someone to turn too,’ Steve answered, truthfully.

‘Hmm.’ Marion watched him for a moment before nodding and turning back to her task.

Steve glanced out the window in time to see Chris pull Andy in for a deep kiss. Steve quickly looked away, his mind flashing back to his fantasies of the night before. That had been the first time he’d imagined Tony like that and, although he’d enjoyed it very much, he probably wouldn’t do so again.

Steve knew that he shouldn’t be thinking of Tony like that. They were friends and teammates. A relationship like that probably wouldn’t end well for anyone. And so, he wasn’t going to act on his feeling, despite being almost desperate to. Tony was his best friend and Steve couldn’t, wouldn’t, jeopardise that.

As Marion pushed a salad bowl and knives and forks into his hands, Steve was determined to ignore the way he felt about Tony. As much as he didn’t want to, Steve needed a chance to get over his ridiculous attraction to Tony. They could never be anything more than friends and teammates and Steve needed to let himself get used to that idea. Just like he had with Bucky.

**Author's Note:**

> Steve's explanation of how it felt to find a label comes from personal experience. Learning the word "asexual" helped me understand myself better and I felt like Steve would have felt something similar.


End file.
